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Dear Reader,
Welcome to the first issue of the Overcoming Overeating Newsletter. we are delighted to have a forum in which we can all talk to one another. It has been clear to us for several years now that demand feeders need each other's support and knowledge. After all, you are pioneers carving out new territory in a basically hostile environment. As we meet more and more of you at workshops around the country, we are inspired by your courage and impressed by your thoughtfulness and inventiveness. We love meeting you; we enjoy feeling inspired and impressed. Your thoughts and innovations, however, deserve a wider audience. Here's your opportunity.
Although we have often considered starting a newsletter, it took the interest and know-how of Jill Donovan and Jill Hronek of Jade Publishing, combined with the enthusiasm and energy of Carol Coven Grannick and Judith Matz of our Chicago affiliate, to get us off the dime. Our heartfelt thanks. We would like to take this opportunity, our first column, to tell you a little about what's been happening with us and how we see the current anti-dieting scene.
Since the publication of Overcoming Overeating in 1988, we have been doing workshops across the country and weekly workshops here in New York. As non-dieters, and specifically, demand-feeders, grow in number, an increasing number of our workshops are designed for more advanced participants. As you become more sophisticated users of the Overcoming Overeating approach, you push us to keep developing our ideas. "Why," you ask, "when I was enjoying feeding myself on demand, do I now resent having to replenish my supplies of food?" "How come as soon as I start losing weight, I have an upsurge in mouth hunger?" "My demand feeding is going well," you say, "but, much as I try to like my body, I'm still saying awful things to myself about it."
As a result of your questions and our observations about what gets in the way of stopping dieting and ending body hatred, we decided to write another book. We have just finished the manuscript; the book, as yet untitled (any ideas?), will be published by Ballantine next year. It is a detailed handbook for non-dieters which we hope will help put the diet industry out of business.
In the meantime, this newsletter gives us the opportunity to introduce you to some of our new thinking and, most important to us at this particular moment, insures that we will not have to write another book! Each week in our New York workshop, the lively discussion invariably produces some valuable insight that we want to pass along. Now we have a way of doing that. By the way, if you're visiting New York, be sure to call ahead (212-875-0442) for a workshop schedule. We'd love to see you.
You will notice that the newsletter includes a regular column called, "Notes from Chicago". One of the most exciting events for us in the last few years has been the opening of the Chicago Center for Overcoming Overeating. Carol Coven Grannick and Judith Matz, the directors, are experienced psychotherapists who have been helping people cure compulsive eating for many years. We are greatly enriched by their presence; we are delighted to welcome them to our network and to the editorial board of this newsletter.
Another focus of our attention during these years has been those questionnaires you may remember filling out when you first read Overcoming Overeating. With Dr. Mary Steinhardt of the University of Texas at Austin, we completed our study in 1992 and, as we go to press, it is out for review. We'll let you know when the study is published, and we'll preview the results in one of the upcoming newsletters. We're quite excited - although not surprised - by the results. As you know, demand feeding does indeed cure compulsive eating.
And of course, there's the spa. In June of 1992, we did our first week-long workshop at Lake Austin Resort in Austin, Texas. Imagine being able to eat exactly what your body craves whenever it craves it without having to do any of the food purchasing or preparation. Imagine being able to meet with other demand-feeders three times each day to talk about the issues that most concern you. Imagine being able to wear whatever you want and know that your whatever size body is accepted by everyone around you. Not to mention the walking and dancing and swimming and massages and facials and... Too good to be true? We love doing it. It's become an annual event. This year it's February 27th - March 5th. Start saving for the next one. (Info: 1-800-847-5637).
Now, news from the anti-dieting front. As you probably know, your struggle against dieting was big news for a while. In April of 1992, NIH held investigatory hearings and declared that diets do not work. The "anti-dieting movement" was born on the front page of The New York Times. (We were, of course, more than 20 years old, but what's a fact here or there?) Birth announcements appeared in many other publications as well. In fact, our movement was so inspiring that, before you could say "diet", the word disappeared from the diet industry's literature and a new language sprang into being. "Lifestyle change". "A way of life". "A health-care plan". Diets were nowhere to be found.
In June of 1993, a Consumer Reports study dealt what one might have thought would be the final death blow to the diet industry. The results were unequivocal - commercial weight loss programs are dismal failures. But, no, lo and behold, there's still life in the beast. On "Sonya Live", a spokeswoman for Weight Watchers informed us that statistics aren't everything. After all, her logic went, if some people manage to keep the weight off (2%?), it must be a matter of "personal responsibility". Now, are we confused, or didn't the study put that old saw to rest? We thought it demonstrated that diets - not us - are the problem.
The backlash is upon us in a big way. Turn on the TV and it might as well be 1965. Million dollar ad campaigns touting the same old 5 pounds in the first week. Of course, there's also news about not dieting but it is not about any of us. We're sure you agree that we should "stop the insanity", but we're for stopping it, not exchanging it for the madness of no fat/high exercise. She may talk the talk, but she certainly has a dieter's walk!
It's tough to go the distance. A 37 billion dollar industry depends on our continuing discontent with our bodies. Years of conditioning have left us vulnerable to the siren song, "Change Your Shape, Change Your Life." YOU, however, are on your way. You may not know it, but not only are you in the vanguard of the anti-dieting movement, you are a part of the growing size-acceptance movement as well. A woman came to our New York weekly workshop one evening having just seen the Botero sculptures which were displayed on Park Avenue this Fall. "I couldn't believe it," she said. "There I was in the all together in the middle of Park Avenue. And everyone was looking! Me? Admired? I was a little embarrassed at first, but it didn't take long for me to get into it." Who says that thin is more beautiful than fat? Just who came up with that silly idea?"
Write to us. Tell us how demand-feeding is going for you. What are your problems? What are your successes? Lots and lots of people have read Overcoming Overeating, but we only have the names of people who returned their questionnaires or attended a workshop. Help us spread the word about the newsletter.
As always, hearty appetites!
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Carol and Jane
Greetings!
In 1993, after working with the Overcoming Overeating approach for many years, we joined the national network by forming the Chicago Center for Overcoming Overeating, Inc. As practitioners, we are profoundly committed to the Overcoming Overeating approach and believed that by uniting our energies, we would reach more people and create an even greater sense of community for the Overcoming Overeating network.
The newsletter is an exciting venture. It has tremendous potential to reach all of you - around the country and the world - who want to share thoughts, feelings and experiences with Overcoming Overeating or want questions answered that will help you move forward. With all of us working and talking together, we can join forces to expand the growth of the anti-diet revolution.
Building on the excitement we feel as the newly organized Chicago Center for Overcoming Overeating, we held a full-day Advanced Conference on October 24, 1993. The conference, entitled "Discovering Your Good-Enough Caretaker", was a multidisciplinary and multi-media event that brought together 60 women who are committed to the Overcoming Overeating approach. The energy in the room was intoxicating!
We began the day by discussing several issues which we see as key in moving ahead with the mechanics of Overcoming Overeating. Curing compulsive eating requires that we care for ourselves in an attuned, loving and nurturing way. We all know that such good caretaking feels great, but we also know that, at times, it is difficult to be there for ourselves consistently. We did an exercise in which participants focused on the reasons they give themselves for not wanting to, or feeling unable to care for themselves. We then helped participants connect their present "stuckness" with their individual childhood experiences. (We'll be sharing more about this in future issues of the newsletter.)
Our conference was greatly enriched by guest speakers from the Chicago network of professionals who work with the Overcoming Overeating approach. Elisa D'Urso, R.D., spoke about "Chronic and Everyday Health Concerns" in relation to the Overcoming Overeating approach. Her brief history of the changing "trends" in nutritional research (what will we be told to eat next??), gave people a great deal of relief about "proper nutrition". Elisa stressed the fact that our internal cues are certainly reliable in the management of everyday nutritional concerns as well as with specific health problems, such as diabetes.
Barbara Meyer, M.A., an exercise physiologist, spoke about opening your mind to the idea of "movement" instead of exercise. She suggested "legalizing" all kinds of movement, just as you have legalized all foods. She also spoke about removing the "shoulds" from movement. When movement becomes a "should", it becomes a diet against which you rebel. She recommended that you leave your option to move open - for example, by carrying a "movement bag" with any necessary supplies in case you decide that you want to move. (Between food bags and movement bags, you are just loaded with options!) Barbara led the group through a calming musical fantasy in which people imagined themselves moving in any way that felt comfortable. She encouraged people to move in ways that make them feel comfortable, not in ways they imagine to be "right" or "best". Participants found themselves discovering new, exciting ways to move, or even think about moving, that felt pressure-free.
In the afternoon, we showed Jean Kilbourne's film "Still Killing Us Softly", an examination of the negative impact of the advertising industry's portrayal of women and the "perfect body". Afterwards, art therapist Leslee Goldman, R.T.A., led participants through visual exercises. She asked participants first to draw their response to the film and then to draw what they had been told about their bodies as they were growing up. The responses, although moving and painful to experience and hear, gave expression to participants' feelings of body hatred; the drawings also often revealed the hope hidden beneath the despair. Leslee encouraged people to build on that hope.
In an attempt to further size acceptance, we used an exciting visualization developed by Carol and Jane. In the fantasy, people think about how they would feel if their current size suddenly became the cultural ideal. Responses ranged from relief and exhilaration to concern about and discomfort with the nature and quantity of attention paid to society's ideals.
The energy generated by this roomful of women, all deeply committed to Overcoming Overeating, was an uplifting part of the day. We hope to recapture this sense of community again and again.
When we come together in person or in spirit:
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Judith Matz and Carol Coven Grannick
I received a call the other day from Marsha, a mother of a four year old. The conversation went like this: "Jane, I've tried to legalize cookies by bringing in bags and bags of Molly's favorites, but she still eats them in abundance and at times when she's clearly not physically hungry for them. Are you sure this really can work with a young child?"
I asked Marsha to tell me more about how she deals with Molly when Molly reaches for the cookies. She replied, "I ask her each time I see her go for cookies, 'Are you hungry?' If she says, 'yes', which she always does, I tell her to check in with her tummy and find out what it wants. I remind her that we have yogurt, cold chicken, fruit, and cheese in the house." It sounded at first as if Marsha had been implementing the approach correctly. But in her response to my question, I could hear the problem she was having. I asked Marsha, "When Molly grabs an apple, do you ask her if she's hungry and the remind her that you have ice cream, candy, and pretzels in the house?" Marsha responded with a resounding "Of course not!" and then, "Oh, I get the point."
You see, in her mind, Marsha was still categorizing food as "good" and "bad". It's true that she would bring the "bad" foods into the house, but always with the hope that Molly would not eat them. By questioning Molly each time she went near the cookies, she gave Molly the idea that cookies were still special and somewhat off-limits. Molly was reacting. Unconsciously, she was testing Marsha to see how long she could get away with eating cookies. When, for Marsha, all foods are legal and no one food is more special than any other, Molly will be as interested in apples as she is in cookies.
Millions of us walk around all day in a cocoon of self-hatred. It's as if there's a radio program - with bad music and lots of static - playing in the backs of our heads. If you tune in, you will hear a constant refrain: "Yuck, I can't stand my thighs, stomach, hips, butt..."
The presence of these "fat thoughts" in our thinking is so entrenched that, for most of us, it is nearly impossible to imagine life without them. We talk to ourselves in ways we would never consider speaking to a friend and often in ways we would not address our worst enemy. Fat thoughts are abusive; they make us miserable and send us straight to the fridge for solace. Why then do we keep beating up on ourselves?
First, we continue to have fat thoughts because we are members of a society in which our bodies are constantly criticized. In other words, we have fat thoughts because we have learned to see our bodies negatively. In one way or another, almost every ad tells us that our bodies are in need of fixing. When we look at ourselves with disgust, we are simply passing along the cultural message that our female bodies are in need of renovation.
Second, we continue to make ourselves miserable with fat thoughts because our discontent with our bodies serves to distract us from many of our real concerns and anxieties. As you know, we maintain that fat thoughts are never about what you think they are about - namely, fat - no matter what size or shape you are. In other words, when you yell at yourself for being fat, you are distracting yourself from the real source of your discomfort. For example, you say, "I'm fat," when what you mean is "I'm anxious about my upcoming class reunion," or "I'm angry at my husband," or "I'm upset about my raise," or "I want sex," or "I feel rejected," or, or, or...
You want to believe that your fat is, in fact, your problem because you are then on familiar turf. You know the scenario: "I hate my fat stomach. It's really disgusting. I'm going to start working out. I'm really going to cut back on fats. I feel better already." Of course, nothing gets better because you are not addressing the real source of your discomfort.
We live in a culture that encourages us to focus on our bodies rather than on our lives. We have learned our lessons well. We are all experts at moving from the language of feelings to the language of fat. The time has come, however, for us to give up fat talk and learn to speak the truth.
There are four basic steps to moving beyond fat thoughts. Once you have identified a fat thought, take a moment to sit with yourself the same way you would with anyone in your care who has suffered an insult and is hurting. Then, gently and compassionately, go through the following steps: apologize; challenge your thought; set the fat thought aside and learn what you can about yourself from this experience. Let's look at these steps in more detail.
Calling yourself names is hurtful. When you are hurt, you become sullen, depressed and mouth hungry. You need to take better care of yourself and not fling fat thoughts at yourself. When you slip up and have a fat thought, you might say something to yourself like, "I'm sorry I said those awful things to you. I'll try and see to it that it doesn't happen again."
Growing up in this culture makes you vulnerable to fat thoughts. You have learned to be critical of your body. Thinner and thinner female bodies are held up for all of us to see and admire. The message is clear. "Be like her no matter what your size." The time has come for you to challenge that message. "Why should I be like her?" you need to ask. "Who says?" "Who says my thighs are too big?" They get me where I want to go." "Who says my rear end is too large? Maybe the chair's too small!" "And who on earth says that thin is more attractive than fat? What a silly idea!"
People often giggle nervously when they hear us ask, "Who says?" They feel anxious and delighted simultaneously. After all, without such beauty rules in your head, you might just find yourself saying, "I'm just fine the way I am."
At this point, you simply pick up your fat thought, as you would an object, and move it aside. Don't be surprised when the thought sneaks back into your head. After all, you've never challenged your fat thoughts before, so it's understandable that they're not yet sure that you mean business. Well, they have another think coming! You're going to keep setting them aside until they get the message. Every time a fat thought reappears, remember to apologize, challenge it with a resounding, "Who says?" and set it aside so that you can move on to Stage 4 and beyond.
If a fat thought is never about fat, it is now time to find out exactly what was bothering you when you yelled at yourself about your body. In other words, the time has come to move from fat language back to the language of your feelings. This will require some detective work on your part - work we hope you will find compelling and revealing.
Let's take an example. Mary, a woman in our New York weekly workshop, reported, "I've been dreading my upcoming high school reunion. I don't want people to see how fat I've gotten. I'm sure they'll be shocked that I don't measure up to what they expect. I never was a fat adolescent. When I get into this kind of obsessive thinking, I know I'm yelling at myself. The other day I finally asked myself, fat aside, what don't I want my former schoolmates to see? Then it hit me. I was chosen most likely to succeed, and I'm worried that I haven't lived up to that title. I know that I am successful and quite content in my professional life, but I'm not doing anything which will particularly wow the crowd. I guess I have to remind myself that if I feel content, that's what counts, not some external measure of success. I see now that my not measuring up has a lot more to do with achievements than pounds, and I feel more relaxed about the reunion."
In the next issue of the newsletter, we will teach you more about how to decode your fat thoughts. Look for our regular column called HOLD THAT FAT THOUGHT. In the meantime, remember each and every time you have a fat thought to apologize, challenge, set it aside, and learn from it.
Q: The clothes I bought when I first started using the approach are now too tight. I can't just keep on buying clothes in larger sizes!
A: It is understandable that you feel upset about having to buy new clothes. We are all programmed to applaud weight loss and bemoan weight gain. You have probably gained some weight as a result of all the "testing" that goes on when you first legalize food. If you keep stocking and don't yell, your weight will stabilize, but it is extremely difficult to remain calm about weight gain in a fat-phobic world.
When you started using the Overcoming Overeating approach, you did something that was very difficult and very unusual; i.e., you promised yourself that you would accept yourself - as is. That promise means accepting yourself larger or smaller - with a wardrobe to prove it.
Dear OO,
It's such a pleasure to be part of a group of smart people who have, once again, survived the cycle of ending one year and starting another without making any kind of "resolution" about their weight and food.
It has not been easy resisting the promises of Jenny, Ultra Slim, Weight Watchers, and Nutri-System combined - they know us well and get organized for the "diet season".
In particular, they offer the sublime illusion of "beginning" that comes with each new year.
You see, I used to live for beginnings. Any beginning, you name it: the beginning of a meal, a day, a week, a month, a season, a relationship, a school year, a decade...
I still remember myself years ago, sitting on the damp ground one cold night, staring through the fog at the city hall clock, mechanically eating from a bag of donuts. It was a quarter to midnight, and those were to be my last donuts for as long as I lived. The idea was that by the twelfth ring of midnight, like the Cinderella of dieting, I would throw away whatever was left of the donuts and somehow walk away from this shamanic ritual transformed into the person I wanted to be more than anything in the world: someone who would never go off her diet again.
That was a lonely birthday night, but it could have been any Sunday night, 31st of the month, last day of spring, or New Year's Eve. With every beginning came the hope for the ultimate metamorphosis into thinness, the hope to finally correct what seemed to be so hopelessly wrong: my body, my food, myself.
Among the many things that feeding myself on demand has revealed to me, one stands out while I am writing to you, in the midst of holiday shopping and planning a New Year's party with friends. It is the deep, abiding knowledge and acceptance that Life is not elsewhere. It is not after I have finished the last chocolate in the box, not next summer, not after the twelfth toll of midnight, but every moment that I live. And yes, this includes the traffic jam on this rainy bad-hair-day after an unsettling discussion with a close friend, as well as the moments of delight which I was always too busy counting calories or planning mutinies to ever notice.
For me, and I hope for you, 1994 will be a year of continuation and refinement, not transformation. Occasionally, on the rainy bad-hair days, I miss the illusionary power of the twelve bells of midnight. Most of the time, though, I think I am - we are - pretty lucky indeed.
Magic is not where I used to think it was.
Manuelle
Dear OO,
What a joy to hear of the upcoming newsletter. I can't begin to tell you how much I have grown thanks to the Overcoming Overeating program. It will be very supportive to hear of different struggles and accomplishments in the future.
I feel I have succeeded with the Overcoming Overeating program, even though it wasn't an easy route. My main problem is trying to explain the anti-diet rebellion to others. No one believes me.
Considering the years of compulsive eating/dieting that I have suffered through, thanks to the Overcoming Overeating program, I have a new, never-ending spirit of energy and enthusiasm toward myself and life in general. I now strive to be challenged academically, spiritually, mentally and physically. I no longer have a limit to my growth, and, most important, I believe in myself. I realize I have the strength to determine what each new breath will bring.
Thank you again for the Overcoming Overeating program and the peace of mind you have given me.
Sincerely,
Kay
Dear OO,
At work I am surrounded by an active Weight Watcher member on one side and an active Nutri-System member on the other! Thank God I read your book in Spring 1991. I'm not skinny by any means, but I don't have any guilt about not being on another diet either - any guilt would make me binge!
Looking forward to your newsletter,
Elaine
Dear Jane and Carol,
I just had to write you to thank you for the best Holiday Season I've ever had in my life! The best Christmas gift I received this year was the freedom from my food addiction and obsession! Thank you for making this possible for me!
Thanksgiving and Christmas were both wonderful. My family was here visiting, and I was actually more interested in spending time visiting with them instead of being obsessed with all the food that was around! In fact, I ate less at both holiday meals than I ever have before - not because I was "fighting" to control my eating - but simply because I just wasn't really interested in the food, except to satisfy my stomach hunger! Something that really helped me was to reassure myself that I could always have more - even the "special" items that we usually only have at the holiday meals, I could make again and again after the holidays if I wanted to! This idea really helped me to calm down about the food and not have the urgency to eat it all in a hurry before it gets away from me!
We had so many leftovers and so much food was all around me, that I was completely "calm" about it! In the past, I would have been so worried about not getting enough of the foods I loved before everyone else ate it all that I'd have binged the whole time - since it was "acceptable" to binge at these times. But this time, I knew my family was only here for a few days, but the food would be here long after they were gone. So I was more focused on my family. To me, this is how a "normal eater" would react! As a matter of fact, we still have some of the food from Christmas. It's there on the counter, and I have a little bit here and there, but I'm not being controlled by it like I used to be. Although there have been holidays in the past where I was able to control my intake, I was always just dying for the food on the inside! This time was so different - I didn't even think about the foods - except when my stomach got hungry.
I know I'm going on and on about this, but I'm so excited about it! This is truly a miracle in my life! If you had told me about 14 months ago that by the end of 1993 I would no longer have a food obsession and compulsion to binge, I never would have believed you! But it's true. I can hardly believe it myself. It's hard to believe I'm the same person. Even my husband is amazed. Another amazing fact is that I no longer have "food dreams"! You know, the kind of dreams where you're binging on all the foods you're trying to avoid eating - and then wake up and feel so frightened and ashamed until you realize it was just a dream! I guess now that my body and mind are not deprived of food anymore there's no reason for my subconscious to dream about it! This just shows how deep the food obsession goes.
The other thing I've noticed lately is that, just like your book suggests, the foods I thought were my "favorites" (like cake, cookies, ice cream, and chocolate) are not really my favorites anymore. The other day we were at a restaurant, and when we went to the "dessert bar" I actually wanted the cantaloupe and honeydew melon instead of ice cream! I never thought I'd see the day when I'd choose fruit over ice cream! And the best part about it was that it was MY choice, not some stupid diet telling me to eat fruit! I feel like I have so much more dignity now. Oh, and I just went to the doctor last week and I actually lost 5 pounds over the holidays. This is only a side benefit, since I'm not even trying to lose weight, but it does let me know that my eating is really changing - without me having to deprive myself in any way! I was just so wrapped up in my family over the holidays, that I naturally ate less and in the process, let go of some weight!
Also, I'm so much more emotionally stable these days! I guess it's because I was so involved in either binging or dieting before, and that was taking up all of my mental energy. Now I feel so FREE and calm about food! I'm actually able to spend more time living instead of in a food fog. I wish everyone could find out about this way of eating. I get so frustrated when I watch talk shows about dieting - especially the ones that have so-called experts about it - and I want to talk to every one of them about your methods.
Well, I just had to thank you again for changing my life so drastically! I feel like for the first time since I was seven years old, I'm actually a normal eater now!
Gratefully,
Jacki
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Who told you Your body was They musta been scared to death Your childhood dignity must Who told you The fashion kings weep at your beauty The diet gurus are distraught; Nourish your beautybodybeauty, |
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I went on my first diet 20 years ago as a freshman in college. The "beer diet" was sweeping my dormitory: you existed purely on beer for several days, and you lost weight! This is a memory that's both funny and sad for me. Imagine, 50 or 60 tipsy, hungry teenagers living in one building. We were all lonely for home, growing into womanhood and scared to death of the future. None of us were even the least bit overweight.
I dieted off and on, but never very seriously, until the late 70's and the Scarsdale diet. (My husband refers to this one as "The Dead Doctor Diet.") This led to years of yo-yoing: Weight Watchers, egg & grapefruit, all protein, all rice, all JUNK! Two years ago I joined Jenny Craig. On JC, my energy and health went right down the toilet. I was depressed, having trouble concentrating on anything and gaining weight. My doctor recommended that I consult with the clinic's nutritionist, Elisa D'Urso. In addition to counseling me on nutrition, Elisa gave me a flyer for a group she was leading called "Befriending Our Enemies: Making Peace With Our Bodies and Food" and sold me a copy of Carol and Jane's book. Sixteen months later, I can say without hesitation: Elisa D'Urso, the women in our group and Carol Munter and Jane Hirschmann have changed my life.
I showed the book to my partners here at Jade, Jill Hronek and Mark Wagner. We started to kick around the idea of a newsletter based on the Overcoming Overeating approach. Elisa put us in touch with Carol Coven Grannick and Judith Matz of the Chicago Center for Overcoming Overeating; from there we started talking to Jane and Carol. By then, of course, the combination of these six women was getting confusing: Jane & Carol & Carol & Judith & Jill & Jill, but we have managed to produce what we think is a pretty exciting publication.
We want to thank Carol Munter, Jane Hirschmann, Judith Matz and Carol Coven Grannick. We regard their work as vitally important; the opportunity to contribute to something so significant doesn't come along every day. We want to see Overcoming Overeating, "demand feeding" and "eating from stomach hunger" become household words and to see an end to the myths that have created the necessity for the Overcoming Overeating approach.
We hope this newsletter helps to open the eyes of health care providers to the dangers of dieting, as well as people who are still on the diet/binge roller coaster.
Please write to us with your experiences, critiques of the newsletter and suggestions for improvement. We're making every effort to keep costs down; it's important to us that this newsletter remains accessible to as broad a range of people as possible. Keep your copy as a reference (they're punched to fit in a standard three-ring binder) and encourage your friends to subscribe.
All the best,
JADE PUBLISHING
Jill Donovan, Jill Hronek, & Mark Wagner
As you begin to work with the Overcoming Overeating approach, you will typically experience both excitement and fear. Legalizing foods!!! This means bringing in the very foods that have been forbidden - that you've been afraid of - for a very long time. So, you bring in cookies, candy, ice cream and pizza. But do you really have enough? The following are comments and questions we frequently hear, and suggestions to help you take stock of your current supplies:
"I brought in a pound of chocolate and ate it all in one day. I don't even really like chocolate, so why should I buy it again?"
The fact that you felt compelled to eat the chocolate as soon as you brought it in the house says that it is still an illegal food and that you need to continue to demystify the chocolate. It is not surprising that you found yourself overeating the chocolate at first because it has been forbidden for so long, and you are responding to the deprivation. However, it is essential that you bring in "more than enough" chocolate. Although one pound may seem like a lot after keeping it at a distance for so long, the fact that you finished it in one day says it is not!
Start with at least three times the amount you can imagine yourself eating in one day, or more; whatever amount makes you feel calm. So, you buy five (or 10 or 15) pounds of chocolate, so that it seems that the end is not in sight. Before your supplies diminish to the point where you can see the end - let's say three pounds - it's time to go to the store and restock back to five pounds. When you do this consistently (and promise yourself not to yell when you eat the chocolate), you will find that in a short period of time, the chocolate no longer "beckons" you.
"I like frozen yogurt and it's lower in fat than ice cream. Why is it necessary to bring ice cream in the house?"
If you really prefer frozen yogurt, there is no problem. Often, however, you are still attempting to control what you eat by calories, fat grams, etc., rather than truly equalizing all foods. So, if you find yourself at a party binging on a hot fudge sundae, you know you still need to legalize ice cream. Why not keep both in your house in abundance so that you can choose whichever one truly matches your stomach hunger? In other words, sometimes you want frozen yogurt and sometimes you want ice cream; both are available. If the ice cream is truly legal, keeping it in your freezer will feel calming rather than frightening.
"I've legalized pizza (substitute any food) and haven't wanted it for a month. Do I need to keep buying it?"
Yes! When you've put a particular food back in it's place, you may find that you no longer crave that item on a regular basis. But why not keep that food in your home in smaller quantities for the time when you may want it, in the same way that you might keep a dozen eggs in your refrigerator. Demand feeding means responding to your hunger as accurately as possible. Your ability to do this is dependent upon having enough of the foods you like available to you at all times. If, at some point in the future, you find that the particular item becomes illegal for you again, then it is time to go to the grocery store and stock up on that food as you did before.
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Allen King &
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"Sit down, relax and start listening to yourself." That's the non-technical, straightforward advice Allen King, M.D. endocrinologist, gives to his patients with diabetes. King, a partner at King, Revers & Winn Medical Group in Salinas, Calif., and Dana Armstrong, a registered dietitian and certified diabetes educator, are determined to keep people with diabetes, hypertension, and high cholesterol - especially those whose disease is coupled with a tendency for overeating - living as normal a lifestyle as possible.
There is a high incidence of compulsive eating problems in patients with diabetes. "When you impose upon a compulsive eater the diagnosis of diabetes, and add to it the need for rigid control of sugar intake, meal timing and reduction of fat, then people start going crazy," King said. "Or they say, 'the hell with it' and disassociate themselves from the disease and say 'It doesn't bother me, I don't exist in my body anymore'." King see that response frequently.
"Most of my patients tell me 'I want to lose weight NOW!" King comes back at them with, "There's no way to lose weight NOW, and if you try, it will probably cause you to GAIN WEIGHT NOW." King and Armstrong review their patients' attempts at losing weight through dieting and diet plans and remind them how much weight they've actually gained back in the process. "Almost all of them tell us that they ended up weighing more in the end than they did in the beginning. Our awareness of that gives us further credibility in their eyes, and further underscores the idea that it is impossible to diet to lose weight," King says.
Dr. King's family history is one of chronic battles with compulsive eating, weight loss, diabetes and other related diseases. As a professional, he began to investigate these areas. Initially, he thought obesity was caused by lack of knowledge. He gave patients an outline of the caloric content of foods. In a follow-up period of four weeks to four months, the average patient lost eight ounces. Half gained weight! Next he tried behavior modification and recruited a dietitian to provide a more individualized diet. In a three-month follow-up, the average patient lost only five pounds.
With the popularity of liquid diets and their initial great success, Dr. King then tried rigidly controlled programs. Over 500 patients were placed on diets of 500 to 1,000 calories per day with behavior modification. The average patient lost 50 pounds in six months; Dr. King felt that he had finally succeeded. A three-year follow-up, however, uncovered an average 60-pound regain. Certainly, he thought, what was needed was more control.
Gastric surgeries were unacceptable due to the mortality and morbidity rate. Anorexic medications - diet pills - were of limited use. Two patients who elected jaw wiring lost weight initially, then regained. The Garren Gastric bubble seemed the ideal solution - a plastic balloon inflated in the stomach. Weight loss did occur, but only in patients who developed ulcers and bowel obstructions.
"I became disillusioned and found myself avoiding discussing diet approaches with patients. Each method was followed by failure, and worse, guilt on the patient's part for 'failing,'" King said. That is, until Dana Armstrong joined the Medical Group and started to research Overcoming Overeating. She began dismissing diets as a legitimate way to make an impact on medical conditions or to solve eating problems.
"Until you accept that you have diabetes, or any other condition, the doctor will always control the disease. You won't be the boss of your diabetes and you won't be able to experiment with it. You own your weight, and it is part of you in all it's beauty," King says as he explains his master plan for dealing with disease. "You can't get to C unless you go through Steps A and B. Step A is self-acceptance. Step B is self-love or trusting yourself. If you love yourself, you'll show it by demonstrating that you can take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself is not only with respect to monitoring and controlling your blood sugar, it's making sure your needs are being met. If your particular need is food, then you need to take care of that. You need to develop a trusting relationship with the person inside of you in order to be able to sit with your feelings rather than feed mouth hunger."
"The biggest hurdle is to get people with diabetes to slow down and start accepting themselves. I remind them that diabetes is a genetic problem. Gaining weight through compulsive eating and dieting will exaggerate diabetes, but it's not your fault that you have the disease. You just drew a bad card out of the deck when you were born. So you have to learn how to play that particular poker hand in life. It helps to understand the disease and get rid of the guilt aspects."
The second hurdle is to calm people down. People who have diabetes need to know that they, not their doctors, are in control of their disease. King and Armstrong work to give their patients the necessary tools to take care of themselves. One tool is the ability to figure out where you are with your diabetes and your sugar. People with diabetes need to be informed and educated about their condition. Otherwise there is little understanding or motivation as to why they should change their behavior or how change could help improve the condition.
Armstrong, along with Rhonda Howard, R.D., C.D.E., use this same philosophy in all their diet and nutrition education. Regardless of the problem - diabetes, HDL, cholesterol, high blood pressure - no diet restrictions are given. Diets lead to weight gain which generally results in an exacerbation of the disease. Instead, they educate patients about their disease and provide information as to how certain foods will affect them physically. This allows the individuals to make and understand their own food choices, thereby taking control of their disease.
In addition to conducting individual consultations and an eight-class series on Overcoming Overeating, Armstrong teaches a series of six classes on living with diabetes. One of the six classes is dedicated to food and eating. "Most people with diabetes can relate to the fact that they're out there binge eating, not testing their blood sugar and not following any clinical or doctor's recommendations or doctor's diet or any of those types of things," Armstrong points out.
"All of a sudden, they'll get the notice in the mail to go to the doctor and get a lab test done in order to get more medicine. So they pull it all together and become very restricted for a while so that the numbers look pretty good on the test. As soon as that visit is over, they walk out the door and are back to the old ways of thinking and acting." As she describes this scenario in her class, the attendees nod in agreement.
Armstrong's effort to educate those with diabetes has become a personal one. Armstrong's own home atmosphere is dedicated to listening to and understanding one's body and hunger. Diabetes education doesn't stop when she leaves the office. Her five-year-old son Steven, who has insulin-dependent diabetes, along with her own history of yo-yo dieting and binge eating are constant reminders of the necessity for demand feeding.
"We try to make our patients their own bosses," King says. "If you tell yourself you can't have chocolate cake on your birthday because that will raise your blood sugar, you'll probably end up overeating or eating the cake at some point but with great guilt. I'll say 'go ahead and have the chocolate cake'. Experiment with food under controlled circumstances, someplace where you can monitor yourself and take time to ask yourself how you really feel after you've eaten it."
"When your blood sugar is high or your cholesterol level is elevated, it's the same thing as experiencing pain from a cavity in your tooth. Your body is giving you an indication of what's going on," Armstrong says. "Often, when people haven't eaten fat or cholesterol-containing foods, they have this real desire to binge on them. I tell these people to bring these foods into the house and "legalize" them. Try them and ask yourself, 'Do I really like the taste? How do they make my body feel?' If you don't really commit to legalizing the foods, it won't work. Your body is giving you certain signals associated with the disease process. You need to be very, very in tune to those signals."
"Most people still have that 'Doctor is God' mindset," says Armstrong, who is described by King as an energetic go-getter type of person. "Allen King is my medical support. He backs me 100% and helps people challenge dieting. I think that it's very powerful when your physician is helping you and is preparing people to come in to see you. We work together as a team; I provide the detailed part of the work and he provides the emotional support and stability. It would be so much harder to do this without physician support. He lends a huge amount of credibility to what I do. We're part of a team, but Allen's the head cheerleader by far."
© Copyright 1994, The National Center for Overcoming Overeating
Contributors retain all rights to their work. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the National Center for Overcoming Overeating, P.O. Box 1257, Old Chelsea Station, New York, NY 10113-0920.
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